Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kelly's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 24th, 2006
2:31 pm	Ms. Pac Man The yellow dot that is hot to trot... OK so I figured that I would write a little entry just so everyone knows that banana didn't kill me (read Curse Of the Mummy's Banana if you haven't yet. It was my last entry, and quite funny, although frightening). I didn't know if anyone was really worried, but I was! I better not count my chickens. There is still time for something to go wrong, but as of yet the banana hasn't gotten the best of me. So I'll just write about Ms. Pac- Man because I was thinking about her today. Ms. Pac-Man remains the ultimate female video game role model. She is a take charge, go anywhere woman/dot who eats fruits and is not afraid of ghosts. Guys like her because she is all curves. Girls like her because her make-up and hair bow are tasteful. Lara Croft from Tomb Raider has nothing on Ms. Pac-Man. In the future when video games are studied in college, no doubt an entire chapter in some text book will be devoted to Ms. Pac-Man and her impact on sexual politics of arcade youth culture. The fact that so many men preferred playing Ms. Pac-Man to her male counterpart says volumes about the gender roles and rules we as humans live by. That's what I think of Ms. Pac Man. Oh yea and I'm going home today! Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
6:47 pm	Curse of the Mummy's Banana Today I ate a banana that was totally black! As per my past experiences with bananas that were past their prime I was expecting a delicious, custordy treat. Boy, was I wrong! The rotten and fermented smell didn't stop me from taking a big ol' bite. It tasted very weird. Other worldly- perhaps. Another thing that didn't sit too well with this banana for me was it was real straight. Hardly any curve to it at all. It was also very hard to get the peel off. It just wouldn't peel from the top, so I had to peel it from the other end (you know, the end you would point at someone if you were using the banana as a gun.) That didn't work too well either. I finally got it off after I tried for a while, and the banana got all squished because I was fucking with it so much. Something tells me that banana was not supposed to be eaten. If there is no entry tomorrow it is because I am in the hospital. I don't know if I'm just paranoid but everything seems real blurry all of the sudden.. PROS: Tasted kind of like a banana daiquiri from T.G.I. Fridays. Everything looks better in black. Low in calories due to its black color (that is based on no scientific evidence/logic whatsoever) CONS: Tasted kind of like a banana daiquiri from T.G.I. Fridays. Potential to cause blindness and/or death. Tomorrow (granted I'm alive) I'm going home for like 10 days. That's cool. I could use a break from the non- stop drunk fest. Even though it's really fun... I've been having a better time these past few weeks than I have ever before in my life. I think that my new best friend is the 'who gives a shit?' philosophy. Life is so much easier when you just don't give a damn. I freestyled like a mofo last night at the Wednesday night party. Let me tell you anyone who missed it missed out big time! I'm the baddest MC. For those of you not as hip and happening as I am bad means good. Actually, bad meaning bad would probably be more appropriate. But I didn't let it phase me. I just kept going forever. What a may lack in rhythm and coolness, or "flava" if you will, I think that I made up for in stamina. And as everyone knows when you aren't very good at something you should just do it longer because eventually, something good might happen. It's a good plan. Just think about that Styx song, 'Come Sail Away.' That song sucks. It's a totally terrible song until the wussy guy stops singing finally and the synths start going crazy. It sounds like a space battle that is sexy. I don't know if that makes sense, but when I listen to the synth solo in 'Come Sail Away' all I can imagine is E.T. battling it out with Princess Leia for a while, until they get tired and then they decide to get down. E.T. is one sexy alien. Princess Leia isn't bad either. Anyway, imagine if they had just stopped at the 17th verse or whatever it is. That song would be totally bogus and lame. However, much to my dismay, E.T. and Princess Leia didn't appear, or have sex within my rap. Say lavee (or however you spell it)there is always next week. Here are some of the best lines of the evening: "Vaginas in hell!" "I'm gonna slash you open and gut you... you slut you." "I'm a c cup... maybe." "Makes you want to kneel on the ground, and shake it all around, make a barking sound" "Hip hop's for rabbits. I've had it." And that's just the few lines I can remember! I had the crowd in stitches.. well, some of them. Some people were just looking at me strangely. I shoulda popped a cap in their asses. Strait up South Central bitch! No record deals yet please. I still have a lot of work with classes and whatnot. However, I will be patenting 'vaginas in hell' so please do not name your rock band that, or I will be forced slash you open and gut you.. you slut you. Thanks for your cooperation. Current Mood: dorky (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 20th, 2006
6:39 pm	Reese's is moving in on your favorite candy products and we're all getting the shaft I've sat idly by and watched this happen, but now I have to speak out. Reese's peanut butter cups are one of the great candies of all time. They're totally classic. They might even be the best candy of all time. So why do they have to squander their name on these knock-offs?!?! Reese's Fast Break: This bar needs some explaining. This candy bar is a total mistake. It tastes terrible. Honestly, it tasted like a Home Depot. I'm not sure what that means, but its the truth. Sort of like paint and drywall. I'm not kidding. Is this some kind of health food thing?!?! That would make sense. PROS: -Big. -Didn't kill me. CONS: -Tastes real bad. -I hate Home Depot. Reese's Pieces with Peanuts: You've got your nuts in my peanut butter! Reeses pieces have always been a second rate M&M. I figured maybe adding peanuts would kick this candy up a notch. Wrong. The first thing I noticed was that there were hardly any pieces in the bag. It was nearly half empty! That sucks. Secondly, almost all of the pieces were orange. It seemed like there were only three or four brown, and maybe two yellow. That was disconcerting. Shouldn't someone at the Reeses factory be monitoring that? I mean, if they are letting obvious stuff like that slip by, imagine the shoddy quality control on the things that you can't see (i.e. rat feces). Sure, I ate the whole bag in about five minutes. But were they as good as peanut M&Ms? Not even close! PROS: -Better tasting than plain peanuts. CONS: -Not as good as peanut M&Ms. -Bag half empty. -Weak color assortment. Reese's Nutrageous bar: Nutcentric. Reese's Nutrageous bar is actually not that bad. You'll want to eat the whole thing. Still, it's no Payday. PROS: -Not bad. CONS: -Representative of name squanderization. -Not a Payday. -Reese's company needs to be stopped before they take over the entire candy industry, and next possibly the world. Current Mood: annoyed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 13th, 2006
7:52 pm	Wow.. I'm moody Things aren't that bad... I swear. In fact things are going really well. I'm doing too many fucking clubs though. It's so time cunsuming. I wish I weren't so naturally prone to geekdom sometimes. Valentine's Day is kind of a stupid day. Gawd bless the vacuous commercial Hallmark holidays omnipresent in the wonderful culture of Amerka, oops, I meant, America. I'm a yankee doodle dandy... We'll get through it, I promise. I'm trying to be excited because this will, in fact, be my first Valentine's Day with a boyfriend. We both think it's dumb though. I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who didn't share that opinion. It's an excuse to have sex and eat chocolate. No more, no less, so if you are alone on this years Venereal Day know that it'll be over soon, and try to make the best of it. Be angsty, watch some wacked out anti- love movies, I'm always in your boat. It's by some pure, random stroke (no pun intended) of luck that I'm not going to be watching the Golden Girls and crying while I masturbate for the first time on the dreaded February 14th. I'm sorry I can't be as "boo love. I hate my life." as I usually am (granted that was entertaining to anyone besides myself) at this time of year. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful ;). Here's something you may find entertaining though. A journal entry written on February 14th, when I was 15 years old. For anyone who didn't know me when I was 15, I had a retainer, frizzy hair, wore baggy South Park shirts with chocolate stains on them, and had was all about Debate Club and had no social skills. Wait no, I had social skills I guess. I had the social skills to make other people feel very uncomfortable. Yea, I was pretty awesome. "Dear Journal, I don't know why boys don't like me. It seems as though you have to be a bitchy idiot to get any sort of attention from guys. It's like they go "Look at that stuck up girl who's never said anything interesting in her whole life. I want her!" I just don't get it. I'm not a stuck up socialite, I'm more down to earth, I'm more like them (them meaning boys I'm assuming). Maybe they don't want me to be like them. I just don't know. I would be good for a guy. I'm actually a very highly moral person! I'm not the best looking I guess, but isn't it what's on the inside that counts? I suppose I'm just being naive. I'm going to have to learn to be satisfied with learning about bugs (yea, I was really into bugs then too. That's a little embarassing..) and old music. Boys are simply and utterly out of my reach." Wasn't I cute? So I hope that made you guys smile on this sucky day. It cheered me up a little, just because it's so sweet and naive. In other news, they want to put a large bio mass plant right in Oneonta. This basically means that there will be a huge energy converter releasing human excrement into the air we breathe. It'll be located just across the way, wow.. what a view! ummm... OK, I'm all about alternative energy and all that hippy shit, but doesn't that sound kind of odd? Shouldn't they try to locate something like that it an isolated area or something? I mean, I'd rather not be breathing human excrement if I had the choice. That's all. Gawd bless Amerka, err, I mean, America. I keep doing that. What's wrong with me? Current Mood: content (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 11th, 2006
10:03 pm	I'm tired of people. I want to live in total isolation. I hate how I have to be drunk to even be around anyone comfortably. I feel like such a stupid head for subscribing to substances to overcome my inadequacies the easy way... that and the fact that I seriously just said stupid head. I was taking a walk through the lovely streets of Oneonta, smelling piss, beer, and gas when I saw this old man stumbling through the streets, brown bagging. All I could think was 'that could be me in a couple of years' and I started getting really depressed and suicidal. Then I thought, wait, didn't I just come out of the gas station with a pack of parliaments? Who starts smoking at 20? What a retard. It's all worth it though, because it makes me look oh so European and cool. I hate myself. I said stupid head. I totally hate myself. I wish I could start fresh, but then I'd probably just fuck up all over again. I guess... well, OK I haven't fucked up that bad. I'm not a crack whore or anything. I still regret saying stupid head. Anyone over the age of 5 should be shot on spot for saying/writing that. I could just go back and erase it, but I'm not going to. Stupid head stays. Let everyone see it. I don't care. I don't care what anyone thinks about me. It's too tiring. I'm not going to even think about it. Mulling over everyone's opinions of me constitutes way too much of my time, so you know what? I WANT everyone to hate me. I'd be comfortable with that. I wouldn't have to guess or ever think about it again. So spit on me or something the next time you see me. It'd probably turn me on or something because I'm fucked up enough to enjoy, thoroughly enjoy, I'd go as far to say thrive off of degradation. I talk about myself too much. Now I'm just talking about myself talking about myself, so I guess I should just shut up. I'm getting drunk now. Ughhh... (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 9th, 2006
5:38 pm	Jerk from Coldplay I was watching E! today. Can you believe that Gwyneth Paltrow married some jerk from Coldplay? I can't. First of all, that band sucks. I can't tell the difference between Coldplay, Snow Patrol, or Ski School. All of those crappy bands sound the same, and remind me of Garden State, and shit like that. Secondly, you should never marry a guy in some popular band. Sure, today he is on MTV2, but tomorrow he'll just be the old bass player from Kajagoogoo. That jerk from Coldplay will be on "Putting On The Hits" in no time flat. Thirdly, it is quite possible that he's into kiddy porn. Let's look at some statistics, shall we? How many British rockers have been busted for having child pornography on their computers? Two, Pete Townsend and Gary Glitter (that is just the few who have been caught!) And how many American rockers have been busted for such an offense? Exactly.... NONE! Get it? The statistics don't lie. So, am I saying that the dude from Coldplay is into kids? No, not exactly. But why take the chance? PROS: Absolutely None Whatsoever. CONS: Band is boring and sucks, guy is a total jerk- off, probably into Kiddie Porn, kid's is named Apple Current Mood: apathetic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 30th, 2006
8:23 pm	I drank absynth on Friday. A lot of it too. I even drank it the "right" way.. but it didn't do anything other than make me feel mellow. I think they just say it makes people hallucinate so that it can be used as another tourist attraction. I had a wonderful evening with a professor here, his wife, a man who works in the library, Meagan, and Louis. It was a great experience for me. It didn't matter what age we were. We weren't teachers, or students, or librarians or anything other than people that night. I loved it. Nothing beats sitting around a bonfire talking about cultures, philosophy, and politics with really smart people. To think, I almost chose a frat party.. Debate resumed today. The topic I'm doing is phenomenal: privatizing education. It's something I've thought a lot about and look forward to researching. I need to find more people though. I've got a few people in mind who I think could do a good job. If you go to Oneonta and are interested let me know. Otherwise I might have to pawn off Jesse as a SUCO student, and give him an opportunity to further spread his propaganda. That could be amusing actually... Current Mood: content (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
10:38 pm	Today I saw 4 girls on line for the microwave that looked like clones. They all had sweaters, their hair in high pony tails, and a lot of make up. They were all even eating the same food. It was depressing. Homicidal fantasies occupied my thoughts for a good 30 to 40 seconds, and then some weird new emotion, compassion. I actually felt sorry for these girls. I didn't want to jam their faces into the microwave one by one as I originally did. Instead, I wanted to tell them how pretty they are. That they're smart, or capable or something (of course I didn't because they would probably just look at me funny. I hate those looks) because obviously if they need to create this sick sort of social world where they all dress, look, act, and probably even fuck the same, they must be very insecure. I mean, think about it. These people have brains. They are functioning on a college level. They are thinking about all this stuff, and to arrive at the conclusion that they don't even want to exist as independent entities is actually really sad. It gets worse.. They were talking about another friend, who was not invited to their microwave swaree because she slept with this guy that they all expressed some sort of weird interest in. I don't know if I'm over speculating or what, but do these girls share guys too? I am so glad for whatever reason, I never ended up getting caught up in that sort of shit. Even more disturbing thought- am I less insecure then them? I've spent so much time wallowing in my own self- pity for how insecure I am that I never stopped to think about how the rest of the female population must feel. Being a girl is rough. You are expected to be a stupid ornament. I guess that goes for both sexes. Women have a really shallow way of viewing men too. I'm glad that their are other brave unique souls out there. I am glad I have a group of such awesome friends, and a boyfriend who gets me. I'm happy right now. I don't even feel like the same person. For the first time since I can remember, I don't feel jealous of everyone else. I feel wanted. I am sort of wondering when the proverbial jig is going to be up. I'm probably better off not thinking about it. I'm really starting to re- think everything and everyone I know. As of right now, I don't hate anyone. I don't even dis like anyone. I think we're all victims of nature. I hate nature. Just kidding. I like trees and all that hippie shit ;) Current Mood: content (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 21st, 2006
4:39 pm	Liberal According to this quiz I'm a liberal http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html It isn't very thorough.. Anybody know of a better one? What's new with me? Hmm.. I have a boyfriend. He REALLY likes me so I'm going to try and not screw it up. I've been having a really good time since I got back to school. Meag and I have come to the conclusion that we are meant to be friends and not roomates, so we are going to select different people to live with next year. If I decide to live on campus, we will get a quad or sweet together, which works perfectly. I think this is what we need to preserve our friendship which we both really want to do. Cat Stevens is awesome. Current Mood: content (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
1:24 pm	Is not wanting to see Brokeback Mountain wrong? Today, Paulette called me and asked if I wanted to see Brokeback Mountain in the Upstate. I said no, and she replied "Why, because it has gay people in it?" Well, that's a pretty obnoxious thing to say to someone you've known for such a long time. What did she expect me to say? "Yes, I'm a homophobe. I've just kept it a very good secret up until now." She pisses me off to the nth degree sometimes. She said she was kidding, maybe she was. Then I thought more about it. The reason I don't want to see it, is, in a sense, because it is a gay love story. Not because it's about homosexuality, because homosexuality doesn't bother me in the least. The previews lead me to believe there will be a lot of "non- traditional" love scenes. Which to be quite honest, makes me slightly uncomfortable. Do I consider myself homophobic? No. I just don't like watching gay sex.. is that wrong? I feel slightly immoral, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Voyeurism makes me uncomfortable in general. Any sort of sex scenes make me a little uncomfortable, and I'd rather they're not there... I mean, all my favorite movies- no sex scenes. Coincidence? I don't think so. In fact, that's one of the reasons I like French films so much. They really graphically describe sex, which I find funny and cool and whatever, but never show anything. Anyway, so why wouldn't untraditional sex scenes bother me more? If you're not used to seeing it there's a whole other element you need to get over. Am I a bad person? Current Mood: confused (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
8:26 pm	I picked up a few books today. The R. Crumb handbook. He's a recent obsession of mine, and a beautiful, leather bound, book of the complete works of Lewis Carrol. Both books contain biographical information as well. Robert Crumb is the fucking man... his shit rules... I'm crying right now, after reading this comic.. called "Confessions of Robert Crumb" ok, listen to the premise. A young. R. Crumb gets his first erection at four. What to do? Well, he find himself turned on by his mother's boots. So he sneaks into her closet and starts humping them, singing this song "Jesus loves me. Yes, I know it's true..." This is wrong on so many different levels. I never used to like comics, but I guess that's because my brother's collection was pretty much all I was exposed to. Those are terrible. The X- Men, Fantastic Four, Batman, The Hulk.. snore. There are so much more than can be done with comics. American Splendor, the whole Zap! series.. Robert Crumb is the pioneer of comics as an art. Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 6th, 2006
7:11 pm	Make shift bowl out of an apple. It was a fruity delight. All I did was jab two interconnected holes in an apple and use a peice of aluminum foil with a few holes in it as a screen. I suspect a half- retarded monkey could've assembled this. I did this while I was high. A 25 favorite movie guide. http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/R1BBME60K0QRUR/002-6331951-2932010 It was too fun. I want Roger Ebert's job. Only I don't know if I could deal with that Roeper guy. I think he likes anything, so long as it sucks. Debbie got a job as a social worker at a nursing home today. Full medical and dental. Nice. Philosophical question of the evening: If Everybody loves Raymond, what does that make me? Current Mood: content (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 5th, 2006
9:37 pm	Wedding Crashers My dad rented Wedding Crashers. It sucks. Have I seen it? No. But I can garuntee it sucks. I bet I can predict the whole movie. Ok, Wilson brother (check), Vince Vaughn (check). That means there is going to be a "surprise" guest appearance by either Ben Stiller or Will Ferrel. There's gotta be a few "zanny" speaches in there by drunk best men or bridesmaids.. or if the creators are desperate enough, some of both. The two main characters are free roaming, non- commital types who try to pick up chicks at weddings, they also probably make use of the free buffets and bars, then there has to be a bunch of moral shit in there too, about how monogomy is better than lying to have meaningless sex, which is totally untrue. They probably get hit in the head or something like that while trying to impress girls with some sort of "skill" they don't have. ok... and then they'll meet girls they really like and sell out and get married. Main stream movies make me want to vomit. I rented Kingpin and Killer Clowns from Outer Space because I like my crap to be straight forward. I'm going to drink whiskey now. I hope we have some egg nog left.. Current Mood: content (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
6:20 pm	Great idea I just had A brand new way to celebrate Valentine's Day. Want to celebrate Valentine's Day but don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Don't worry! I just thought of a new way to celebrate Valentine's Day without all that mushy stuff. Come on... who's with me? This year.. I'm celebrating the St. Valentine's Day Massacre! All you need is a Bugs Moran style striped suit and a top hat. In addition, you can talk like a 1920's gangster all day. It's simple! Add "ya see?" to the end of every sentence and make sure to call all your female friends "doll face." Make your "s" sound more like "sh." People may be a little confused... so it's important to have several copies of this on you, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Valentine's_Day_Massacre. Hand it out to anyone who sneers, remarks, or looks at you cross- eyed. I garuntee the kids at school will never forget it. This is going to be much more fun than my past Valentine's Days.. (they all pretty much involve eating a box of chocolate that I got from my dad, watching The Golden Girls, thinking very evil thoughts, and crying while I masturbate). Hooray for a new fun day. This day will quickly change from the day you don't want to leave your room to the day you can't wait to show off your bad ass pin stripes and finally get an opportunity to talk in a funny accent that you know you practice every night in your bedroom when no one's around (or is that just me?) Pros: -makes the worst day of the year a little bit more tolerable -pin stripes make you look thinner -Pretending to be a gangster is probably a lot of fun -Bugs Moran would be proud -creative -dressing up in costumes is fun -No one will mess with you -Cheaper than whatever you would probably buy your boyfriend or girlfriend Cons: -people will think you're juvenile/retarded or aspergers (for a detailed description of aspergers, scroll down my entries. It's there somewhere) Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 17th, 2005
12:45 pm	Yesterday I rode the bus back with Daryl and Dave. It was fun. I dipped for the first time. I actually enjoyed it, but I don't think I'll make a habbit of it. Spitting is not an attractive habbit for a girl to pick up, and beyond that... I'd rather not have sections of my mouth removed. I also saw King Kong last night. It was retarded. Don't see it. Apparently it was Peter Jackson's "homage" to the 33 version. I don't buy it. I think he's just saying that so people go and see it. If this were my homage to my favorite movie I would shoot myself in the head, or at least never allow myself to go within 5 feet of a video camera ever again. Do yourself a favor and go see Broken Flowers at the 2 dollar theatres instead. That was excellent, and 1/4 the price of this shitty movie. I mean come on, Jack Black or Bill Murray? Shitty CGI special effects or a really good script? Jackson or Jarmusch? 8.25 or $2 (maybe 2.50 or something at night)? It's your call. Anywho, home for a month! I don't think it's going to be very eventful though. I'm working full time, and nights. Current Mood: content (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
5:16 pm	I feel so gangsta'. I'm listening to The Bloodhound Gang's "Hooray For Boobies." This is about as gangsta' as I get. Actually, scrath that I like Arrested Development too. They aren't gangsta either though. Damnit, Oh OK I like 40's. Although I prefer pitchers because those are like 64 ounces which is perfect for me. I drink too much. My liver is probably pure poison by this point. I bet it looks like a thoroughly saturated black piece of swiss cheese. It's waving the white flag, and I'm still waging war. Sick man... There's nothing else to do... I should be writing an essay right now. You would think I'd be pretty motivated, because after I write this and study for my last final I'm done with school work for over a month. I'm still not though. I hate jumping through these rediculous hoops. I finally get to concentrate my education on literature but I only learn about the people who are considered important by some 50 year old practically virgins that do nothing but sit around in a pathetic cloud of self- proclaimed superiority and try to uncover "lost" literary movements. Oh god, that's my future. Current Mood: apathetic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
11:43 pm	wonderful christmastime Worst Christmas song ever... I fucking hate this song. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big Paul McCartney fan. Nobody likes "Uncle Albert, Admiral Halsey" better than me. But this song is the worst. If I was his new wife, I'd beat him to death with my wooden leg. Can't he get de-knighted for this? I bet even Ringo wouldn't sing this shit! PROS: -none CONS: -We will all have to hear this fucking song every year, over and over, until the day we die! -I hate emo kids! They are just a bad, cheap immitation of goth. Wait.. that's kind of.. unrelated. Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
Monday, December 5th, 2005
8:16 pm	Watch Make sure to watch The Daily Show tonight at 11. Jimmy Carter's going to be on! Current Mood: apathetic (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 4th, 2005
11:53 pm	Yea, I know you all totally want to see my speach for my religion in politics debate because it isn't boring at all (picking up on my sarcasm?) As Bill from Freaks and Geeks says "If you find yourself falling asleep just pluck out a nose hair. It'll wake you right up!" I believe it is impossible for a government to be truly secular. Former Supreme Court Judge William O. Douglas once stated that “We are a religious people who’s institutions presuppose a supreme being.” As a result the supreme court holds the position that the constitution does not require a complete separation between church and state, but affirmatively mandates accommodation between religion and non- religion alike. To give you a little background on myself, and to do away with any suspicions you may have about my biases given my stance in this debate, I am not a member of any religion, and don’t even have a spiritual affiliation. I am simply a person who agrees with Ronald Reagan among others, that “Religion and politics are necessarily related.” As Marx suggested, religion appeals most to those who are most oppressed. Christianity found it’s pioneers in slave populations, which was always encouraged by those in power as a way of keeping the lower classes satisfied with their social and economic limitations. This is why Marx referred to religion as the “opiate” of the masses. He hypothesized that religion would not persevere in advanced societies where even the poor are well fed and sheltered. Even non- Marxists were influenced by this, but what ended up happening was exactly the opposite. As this nation advanced religion only proved to grow. Why is this one may wonder? Well, apart from the psychological needs of religion which Marx and related theorists failed to take into consideration, I believe that religious morals and principles play an integral part in creating a democratic system of government. Religious morals are so strongly encoded in our Western thought that we often fail to recognize the principles with which we govern ourselves by as religious, but many of them truly are. Consider the notion of “human rights” a fundamental element of American politics. On what basis do we conclude that human beings are entitled to the rights of the U.S. constitution merely because they are human? Many people justify it in exactly this way: by virtue of humankind’s common link to God we are entitled to some sort of decency. I am not ignoring secular philosophy, I am simply stating that for most people, Religion is their philosophy. A philosophy with which we can give meaning to concepts such as fairness, equality, and justice. Essentially, the main tools of an effective, sophisticated government (Kenneth D. Wald- Religion in Politics). More than that, the affairs of government and religion simply cannot be separate. The best example of this takes place each year during the holiday season. Almost every school and many municipalities have holiday displays. It is argued that observing the holiday season in this fashion is a violation of the separation clause, but governmental neutrality does not mean that the government has to be an antagonist toward religion. In an early case in Pawtucket Rhode Island a long standing nativity scene which was purchased with public funds and stationed in a public park was a tradition for over 40 years. This scene did not only include religious symbolism, but also cultural symbols such as santa claus, reindeer, and Frosty the Snowman. In 1981 it was challenged on the grounds that since it was in a public park, it was a violation of the separation clause. The lower courts ruled this way, but this decision was reversed by the supreme court citing that when viewed in it’s proper context, the scene was more celebratory of a holiday season, than religious. By doing this the court emphasized the need for accommodations between church and state, and not total separation. In a related case, Clever v. Cherry Hill Board of Ed. The ACLU challenged Cherry Hill Township Board of Education’s policy regarding a display with a religious symbol being permitted in “one central school location” provided that the display was for a limited time, and that the symbol must be displayed simultaneously with another religious symbol as well as at least one cultural or ethnic symbol, and a written explanation depicting the significance of all three. The court ruled in favor of the school district on the basis that the policy had a genuinely secular purpose of promoting a student’s knowledge about our cultural, ethnic, and religious heritage. This is the job of our courts, not to silence and discriminate against religious groups, but to understand and respect the rights of all individuals. We learn this lesson not by being threatened and offended by religious symbolism, or religion in general, but by understanding the meaning of these symbols and why they solicit such strong emotions. A popular cartoon, South Park, parodied this concept in an episode where a Holiday Pagaent was reduced to black jump suit, spinning around, and techno music because of religious objection. This does not change the fact that many are heated and strongly offended by the infiltration of Evangelical justices in the supreme court. One of the most controversial of all of these justices is Samuel Alito. He has garnered a lot of negative attention from media news sources. However, when you take a step back from this and review his action thus far, you will see that he has not behaved as a religious extremist, but as a defender of the religious majority of this country. According to Fox News He supports a Child Evangelism Fellowship to provide information on after-school meetings on the same terms as secular groups, which is perfectly logical and constitutional. How many of your high schools had bible clubs? It’s the same idea. He also saw violation of a kindergartner's rights when a school removed his Thanksgiving poster in which he wrote that he was thankful for Jesus. He does however, have a strong moral objection to abortion. CNN quoted him as saying “I will lead our nation toward a culture that values life -- the life of the elderly and the sick, the life of the young, and the life of the unborn.” Many will argue that this practice is a violation of the seperation clause, however, religious complaint is legitimate. Abortion has been undergoing religious objection for some time now, and to little avail. The closest they have come to being listened to was a recent decision by the Food and Drug Administration to ban the contraceptive, or morning after pill. However, denying right to life is denying more than that. It is severely hindering the quality of the life of those already living. Consider the thousands of people waiting to adopt. According to Newsweek the number of infertile people has risen 20% since 1995. The center for disease control estimated that 7.3 million people are unable to have kids. Joseph C. Isaacs, the president of Resolve: the National Infertility Association sees adoption as the only real solution, as in vitro fertilization is so expensive. Religious groups have a very important voice in American politics. A voice which should not be overlooked. President Clinton stated on CSPAN that the Evangelical community has done wonders by way of progressing on research and spreading information about AIDS in Africa. As with everything, there are radicals and people who misuse their faith, but most religious people like most people in general are simply doing what they think is right. I think that people tend to ignore that and view religion as archaic and un- intellectual. But that is merely a stigma. Religion is about peace, love, and a sense of community. Much like the ideals of democracy. -Ok, given I had to take the stance of a total asshole I don't think I did a terrible job. My actual opinion: Religion and politics inevitably come together. You can't avoid it. So stop pretending that you can. I am however, completely not in favor of Evangelical infiltration of the supreme court by ANY means at all. Ok, good to clear that up. -Next, I would just like to say my list of sources is phenomenal. South Park and Karl Marx made the list. This was about the most serious thing I ever wrote and I still couldn't keep the manifesto or South Park out of it. Something is either wrong with me, or very very right with me. I also dug how the first paragraph mentioned Reagan, and the last mentioned Clinton. That's some high class moderation right there. Next debate my goal is to somehow include both Jesus and the Devil. Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
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